Let me ask you a question, guy in my mind.

Let's say you're at the end of your rope. Maybe not in a depressing 'I'm homeless and I ate my dog' way. Maybe not even in a 'my wife left me and I owe a million bucks to the IRS'. Just a 'huh, now what do I do' sort of end. The point when you think maybe, just maybe, you've done everything you said you'd do, and you were happy with that.

And why shouldn't you be? It was a good, long run. Sure, you're not retiring in your 50s, but let's face it, no one ever digs the guys that retire in their 50s anyway. Quit while you're ahead, and all that.

So let's say you're in this position and then bam, you get an offer to just run a few part-time matches. Okay. That doesn't seem too bad. Not like you can't find a good charity for the cash, and any chance to show off is a good one, right?

Right?

Of course I'm right.

It's all about the show.

You both will never understand that and that's why you'll never win. Ever.

------

Kass knew that if Jin was building something stupid, well, it was bound to be at the Royale HQ Research and Development area. It's a pretty big hangar, big enough for whatever the hell he'd bound to be fucking up. She pulled up to the Royale HQ in a scream of tortured tires, not even bothering to pull the keys out of the ignition to hand to the valet. She simply powerwalked from the parking garage with dangerously brisk snaps of stiletto heel on concrete.

...There was a rather big...crate next to a closed silo door.

...Silo? There wasn't a *silo* here. Why does he have a silo?

The crate said 'HEAD x 1'.

She paused just long enough to register that fact that yes, yes indeed, this was a silo. She stared up it, a muscle spasm starting under her right eye, making it twitch before she ground her teeth together, pushing the door open.

Inside was a robot. ...A pretty tall robot.

To be honest, it looked just a blocky Lego-man version of Jin Royale, except where the top of the head - and assumably, the brain -was, there was a seat. The perp himself was in the seat, hunched down in the cockpit, evidently fiddling with something or other under the dashboard.

She let the door slam loudly behind her and just...*stared* at this monsterous waste of space, money, and effort. *That* he noticed. Jin looked up from the cockpit to give her a wild wave. 'Hi, Kass! I'm king of the wooooorld!'

Kass, at the moment, could do little but take a deep breath and speak quietly...without even attempting to hide her brogue. 'Are yeh?'

Uh oh.

'...Yeah! Lookit this thing! It's nearly completely invincible. Almost.'

'Almost?'

'Well, yeah. I figure so long as no one throws a nuke or something I'm pretty good. But who would wanna throw a nuke at me?'

She quietly stood in place, then took a single breath-

Thinking fast, Jin hit the shield button. It did not work.

'MAYBE TH' EMPLOYEES WE'RE GONNAE HAVE TA LAY OFF TA BANKROLL YER BLOODY FUCKING BANKRUPTCY ROBOT?'

Jin hid in the cockpit fully for one second, before peeping out. '...What? We're not going to have to lay anybody off. See, since it's on the company dime, that means that when this thing becomes awesome, then I can show it off as a Royale Inc production. Then we market it and badabing, we're done. There's not really a downside I can see!'

'Eight. Hundred. THOUSAND. Dollars.' She flexed her right hand into a fist, over and over and over. 'What have yeh made fer eight hundred. THOUSAND dollars. That culd be s'goddamn sodding wonderful?'

'...Doesn't it look great? Hang on, hang on.' He dove back into the cockpit.

Suddenly, from the mech's speakers itself, an odd synthesized voice began singing, with an obviously Japanese tune playing in the background.

~o/ Go go, Jin Royaleobo /o~
~o/ A legend from long ago, nearly forgot / he has fans across the world /o~
~o/ Awesome power will soon be caught and revived in the ring /o~
~o/ He looks like a god, he has the moves of a king /he has a spirit of stainless steel /o~
~o/ All of these honorless, skillless jobbers will now feel a furious swing /o~
~o/ FADE-TO-BLACK (dundundundun!) /o~
~o/ With the strength of five hundred thousand men /o~
~o/ SHOWSTOPPER-SU-PERKICK (dundundundun!) /o~
~o/ INFINITE ROLLING POWER!!! /o~
~o/ Up to the tip of the tip of the top of the NLW /o~
~o/ Go, Go, Jin Royaleobo, the show must go on! /o~

Kass folded her arms. 'S'yeh got some one ta write a song. Tune's probab'ly copywrit. Yeh spent. Eight hundred. THOUSAND of TH' COMPANIES' money. On a statute what plays yir /theme/ song?'

'It's not a statue! It's a mech. And I think an $800,000 mech is a pretty good deal. I'll make the money back like triple-fold.'

Kass remained...dangerously softspoken. 'Explain ta me, jes' what a mech is.'

'Okay.' Jin cracked his knuckles. He'd done this before. 'Basically, it's a giant robot. I figure I can use it for public appearances, you know, maybe sell it to the military. I'm just sittin' on money here! It's yet another one of Jin Royale's wacky schemes!! Eh? Eh? Stuff like this puts us on the map!'

'On th' map? On. Th' map.'

'Well, yeah. You know. I mean stuff like this made me famous. It's what I do! Besides, I mean...the other stuff!'

'S'jes...where are we, now, if we're na on th' fucking map, Royale? S'a multi-million dollar corporation. Been one fer years now. Yeh dinna need ta be famous. Yeh are famous. Famous fer bein' an idiot. Fer...aye. Whacky sodding schemes.' She stared at him, as if slowly figuring something out.

'Well, yeah, but I mean...I can't stop *here*! What happens if I stop? I can't do that.' He fidgeted a little in the cockpit, suddenly having to bounce his leg up and down. 'I mean, this's me. It's what the fans'd want, and I'm pretty sure it'd make a great show.'

Then, for the first time in the entire history of their knowing each other, Kass did something. This thing, for her, was completely unheard of.

She let go of her anger, instead staring up at Jin with a mixture of deep confusion and slight concern. 'What in th' hell are yeh goin' on about?'

'Well...I mean I'm just doing parttime stuff for NLW now, right? So...so I've got to compensate! I don't want to get all old and obsolete and replaced, so it's time for me to prove to everybody what Jin Royale really is. And I am apparently a giant robot.' There it was.

'...are yeh fuckin' wi' me, Jin? Are yeh seriously fuckin' wi' me? Are yeh really an' truly goin' on about gettin' old? Yeh arena evin thirty yet, yeh great giant...' She trailed off, unable to complete her insult, filled with so much disbelief.

'Robot. Giant robot.'

'Na.' She shook her head and *bellowed* up at the giant robot. 'ARSEWAD! BLOODY PRICK! DUMBFUCK! SODDING MORON!'

He ducked back in the cockpit, barely peeking out. 'What'd I say? What?'

She glared up at him, green eyes furious. 'Grow /up/, Jin. Yeh're s'fuckin' terrified tha' some one's doin' yer shtick, yer gimmick, th' same goddamn gimmick yeh PIONEERED, tha' yeh arena longer th' poster boy fer crazy an' zany, tha' yeh've TREAD THIS GROUND B'EFORE, tha' yeh've gone completely out of yer head! Yer fear of growin' up, of being' somethin' other than whacky an' nutty Jin fucking Royale. *Predictable,* Royale, na warm an' fuzzy an' heartwarming, na funny an' all comedy relief. Pre-fucking-dictable.'

Pause. '...I'm not predictable.'

'Yer eight hundred thousand fuckin' dollars worth of predictable. Here, spoilers fer the end. Yer 'mech' willna work. Cue th' goddamn audience laugh track, fade to th' end credits.' She crossed her arms over her chest, expression a mix of fury and pity and overwhelmingly fed up.'

'...Sure it will. Watch.'

The sound of a switch.

She stood his mech down, waiting.

The Jin Royaleobo shook a little. ...It wobbled.

It wobbled.

The left arm quickly moved up and out a bit, and the left hand retracted into the arm, emerging one second later as a giant pumpkin.

'...'

'THAT COUNTS! THAT SO COUNTS.'

'Yeh have na goddamn idea how ta be anyone other than Jin bloody Royale, zany showstopper, wacky highflyer.' She considered for a moment, and put her hands on her hips. 'Wha's yer real name? Th'one yeh were born wi'. Do yeh evin remember it, these days?'

'How did you know that wasn't...' ...He paused.

...So that's it, isn't it. Huh.

I only read about it on TV and listened to it in the newspaper, but I think I'm having an anxiety attack.

Wow. It's not nearly as funny as it is on TV.

She kept her hands on her hips, staring up at him. 'Yeh arena alwis like this. I could be th' only one who knows it, but I do, an' we - me, this company, Shannon, Cus - /we/ need yeh ta grow th' hell up.'

He was just silent for a while - there was the sound of a button pressing, just once, and nothing happened. Soon enough, a small *whrrrr* sound slowly echoed throughout the mech itself, and Jin appeared coming out of the metal foot's bottom, rubbing his neck. His eyes were hidden by his sunglasses like always, but are pretty obviously downcast.

She pursed her lips together, looking at him, then shook her head and looked past him to th $800,000 waste of money, not letting herself back down. Tough love, or something.

He sighed. '...Yeah, so I kinda thought this would happen so I, uh...I wrote a check.' He rustled his hand into his pocket, pulling out a check that she immediately took; upon examination, it was in fact for $800,000 from his personal funds. ...his personal funds being probably four times what the company has, this is a bit of an improvement.

She screwed up her face in confusion, letting her hands drop to the side. 'Yeh knew thi' would happen?'

'I'm predictable, remember?' He looked up at her with a bit of a...less hurt and more of a resigned look on his face. 'I...guess you're right. About...you know.'

...I just can't say it. But I get it.

'I donnae understand. Why did yeh jes' na use yer funds in th' first place...?'

'It would've made for a better story. I guess. Working against odds that were brought on my stupid decisions and winning anyway. I was pretty confident about it, but...I didn't want to really put anyone's job in danger, so I...I guess I knew. I don't know. Maybe I know a lot more of this than I wanted to. Maybe I understand a lot more than I want to.'

She sighed, reaching out to pluck his sunglasses from his face, her brogue fading as her anger vanished. 'There's no maybe, Jin. I've seen where you don't bring the zany. You don't /need/ it.'

'Yeah...yeah.'

I get it. You're right.

He walked off, sliding his hands into his pockets, before looking back at the mech.

...Well, I guess this's it.

'Hey, Kass?'

She frowned as he walked past her, for one of the very first times actually starting to doubt if she did the right thing. '...yeah?'

'...You can call me David, you know. Just not...Dave.' He paused. '...God, I hate Dave.' He shook his head, then walked out of the silo properly, heading for what was to be the most eventful walk of his young, budding life.

I guess...people that just run with the same schtick for the rest of their lives don't really get anywhere at all in the end. ...Maybe that's why I never got the NLW Title. Maybe that's why it never worked with Trevor. Things changed, but...I never really changed.

Maybe I should. Black Phoenix never did. Drake Munday never did. And where's it going to get them?

Beat.

...So I guess this is a new start for Jin Royale.

...you know what?

Fuck it.

I can be two things.

~o/ A champion born and bred, a titan of tough / he's got a fist the size of the moon /o~
~o/ A pillar of pain, he is the purveyor of pins / he'll make you tap like Fred Astaire /o~
~o/ God or demon, what is this strength / His masculine drill pierces the heavens /o~
~o/ The might of his massive manly macho moves will do more damage than the devil would dare /o~

~o/ REVOL-U-TION9 (dundundundun!) /o~
~o/ Flying in the air like old Moth-r-a /o~
~o/ MR. SHOW-TIME (dundundundun!)/o~
~o/ INFINITE COMBINATION! /o~
~o/ High flyingest, risk-takingest and a showstopper too /o~
~o/ Go, Go, Jin Royaleobo, the show must go on! /o~