I received a call around nine in the morning while I was taking in the pleasing view of Autumn in New York City through my apartment window as I sipped on my morning coffee. It was Josh, an old friend from Hellfire Wrestling Federation. I've known Josh for years. We both train together under the legend Adam Grey and we were even tag partners during the final days of HFW. He was returning the message I left in his voicemail about me getting back in wrestling game. He wanted to meet up at our favorite coffee shop later on in the afternoon.

So I had plenty of time to waste until then and decided to waste it in my usual way. After my conversation with Josh I tossed on my famous leather jacket and smoked a joint on the balcony, all the while taking in site of the many busy denizens walking tightly among the streets while tucking their heads in to the neck of their coats. My attention fell on the beauty of this city during the Autumn season. The crisp, cool breeze excited my veins and my mind thought back to euphoric memories of my teenage years. I thought of Fall the year I was seventeen in the forests outside of Boston. I remember sitting around a warm bon fire with a couple friends from high school and my then girlfriend, passing around joints and a bottle of Jack Daniel's, smoking cigarettes and just bullshitting about what seemed cool and important at the time. We talked about what we wanted to do once we graduated. I wanted to graduate from college and then play it by ear afterwards. Guess you could say I succeeded; I graduated from King's College and became a pro wrestler.

So here I sit at Ozzie's reading today's paper and sipping on black, house blend coffee. Nothing holding my interest. I skim over articles about health care and Iran with short-range missiles. Finally I set the paper down and before me in the opposite seat of the booth is Josh with a smartass smirk on his face.

'You know you could have said something. You could have saved me a lot of time and boredom,' I laugh slightly as I bring my cup to my lips.

'I was but, you know, I wanted to see how long it would take before you noticed I was here. Well that and I got caught up in this article about Poland passing a bill that forces castration for pedophiles,' Josh points to the article on the first page. My thoughts turn to that subject for a second before getting disgusted and I decided to change the subject.

'So... what is Josh Marduk into these days?' I say before taking another sip of warm coffee.

'It's Josh Tackett, I'm going by my real last name now, and I'm a tattoo artist right here in Brooklyn,' Josh grins as he extents both arms to display all the art that covered every inch of his arms. He then took a sip of his own coffee I had no idea he ordered.

'Really? Why don't you go by Marduk anymore? Don't you think you'd get more business if print 'Josh Marduk' on your business card?'

'I'm doing fine as it is. I don't need people coming in just to get a tat from a guy who was once a pro wrestler. Besides, those who know me spreads the word and that's about all the attention I need. Do you want me to fill in the empty areas on your arm?' I remembered I have been meaning to connect my arm tats and make them complete sleeves. I simply nod and take another sip of my coffee.

'Yeah, I need to get that done but I need money first. I quit my job as soon as I got the word that I'm a member of the NLW roster.'

'Shit, I almost forgot about that. So what made you decide to jump in the ring again?'

With that things got silent as I began thinking hard on the question he presented me. I stared at my pack of Turkish Royals and began cursing the anti-smoking laws because I could certainly use one right now. Within a second I downed the rest of my coffee just to ease the tension but I think it made it seem worse.

'Because... I miss it more that anything. I miss... the feeling, you know? That feeling you get when you can't push yourself any further yet you do... and then you get the 1-2-3 and... you're the winner. You're the better man. I miss the roar of the crowd, the electric feeling you get when you step out from backstage and take that long walk down that ramp, the pain in my ribs, the taste of my own blood, I miss... everything. I miss that life, Josh. Life without wrestling is just... boring, you know? It isn't life at all.'

Josh is quiet. He stares at his coffee and even glanced at my pack of cigarettes, probably damning the anti-smoking laws too.

'I know... and I agree... I just... I can't live that life... at least not right now. I've got a wife now, you know. I just can't be putting my body and my health through that much damage with her in my life. It's bad enough I'm addicted to cigarettes, ' Josh laughed a short, nervous laugh. I could see in his eyes something was wrong. I could see he wasn't happy. I could see he hated the cards he's been dealt. He wanted more out of life and he wanted it bad.

'I want you to know... if I could I'd be right there beside you. I want to return to the bizz more than anything right now but once I took that oath I knew that part of my life is in the past. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to me and my wife had to take care of me everyday for the rest of my life. And being away from her for long periods of time just wouldn't work. I can't do it. Not right now.' Josh was quiet for a second. He just stared out the window. Finally he broke the silence.

'So you is your first opponent?'

'Oh yeah... my first match. It's a shitty one.'

'Why? Why is it shitty? Who are you facing?'

'Josh Allen. He's the world champion. Which isn't the bad thing, I mean if I win the match, that's a big deal. If I win, I just beat the world champion in my first match. My first match in three years. The bad thing is there's a special referee, Ray Lopez, a guy who Josh Allen has been feuding with...'

'...So if you win, it might seem like a fluke. Ray might give you a fast count, he might hit Josh from behind with an object, he might screw you out of a fair win. That is shitty.' Josh finished of his coffee and leaned forward on his elbows.

'Exactly. A win is a win but if this Ray guy makes me look like a chump out shit will in fact hit the fan. I want a fare match with this supposed champion. I want to take out the best they can offer in my first match, even if I haven't been in the ring in three years.'

Josh leans back in his seat and gives me a slight grimace. 'You mean you haven't practiced wrestling in three years and you're about to face their world champion? Come on, we got to get you in the ring...'